


Breathe Deep, Bottle it Up

by have-a-little-laith (LWritesx)



Series: Brighter Than The Stars [4]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Break Up, Cheating, Cross-Posted on Tumblr, Emotional Hurt, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hunk (Voltron) is a Good Friend, Hunk (Voltron) is so Pure, Hurt Lance (Voltron), Hurt No Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Infidelity, Keith (Voltron) Angst, Keith (Voltron) is a Mess, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Angst, Lance (Voltron) Needs a Hug, M/M, Not A Fix-It, Past Relationship(s), The Author Regrets Everything, and also hunk is a wise grasshopper, and anyone who says otherwise can fite me, but no hes good and pure and wise, the writer needs rest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-07 13:49:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,997
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14672382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LWritesx/pseuds/have-a-little-laith
Summary: In which the next reality is shocking to everyone, and some of Lance's insecurities come to light.Title: Rock Bottom, Hailee Steinfeld, and DNCE.**RATED M FOR THEME AND STRONG LANGUAGE.***PLEASE, READ THE DAMN TAGS! IF YOU KNOW YOU'RE GONNA HAVE ISSUES WITH THE SHIPS IN THIS FIC, THEN FOR THE LOVE OF KEITH, DON'T READ IT. I'M NOT GONNA PUT UP WITH THIS ISH AND ANY/ALL HATE WILL BE DELETED. In the series summary, I did indicate that the end-game was Laith, but these bois need a push, they need to see themselves with other people before realizing their feelings, and I did indicate that I intended to explore as many K + L ships as I can, and not all one-shots would be exclusively Laith.





	Breathe Deep, Bottle it Up

**Author's Note:**

> Ladies and Gents, buckle up. It's about to be a bumpy ride. I'm sorry.

Breathe deep, bottle it up  
So deep until it's all we got.

~ Rock Bottom, Hailee Steinfeld

 **When Lance dropped into the next reality,** the queasy feeling in his stomach didn't settle. In fact, it had gotten worse.

In the previous realities, he'd seen himself be happy, with  _Keith,_ of all people. It was weird, but in a way, he had been expecting it now. It almost looked effortlessly natural for the boys to be together. It had been weird to see himself happy like that, especially in the first alternate reality.

He wondered if his partner in the other realities was Keith only because his own mind wished for it to be him, or whether Slav was just using his innermost thoughts and wants against him for another cause.

So what if Keith was unfairly attractive? So what if beneath all that attitude and sass is a boy who just wanted to love and be loved in return?

Lance was a coward. Of course, he remembered the bonding moment (and all of his moments with Keith), but he wasn't emotionally ready to will himself to go there. Love and attraction, they were two things that should not, _could_ not be forced. He grew up learning that.

Besides, Lance was pretty sure that Keith hated him. Furthermore, he doesn't know how the team would react, especially Shiro, given that he and Keith were so close, if the team found out about his thing for the Red Paladin.

He had to be in everyone's good graces because they were the only... well, people, stupid enough to go into space with him. Which kinda makes them responsible for each other, whether they liked it or not. The last thing Lance needed to do was get booted.

Allura appeared next to him. He startled out of his thoughts, as a small part of him had expected it to be Keith. 

"Lance," Allura whispered after she'd settled, "Do you feel that?" 

All the other paladins appeared, and Lance noted that the setting was different. They were inside the kitchen of a semi-dark flat, with fat droplets of rain pounding loudly against the roof. The atmosphere inside was cold and charged. A slow shudder crept through Lance. Something was not right here.

"Something's not right," Shiro muttered, mimicking his thoughts.

"Look at this, guys," Hunk gasped, pointing at the fridge.

A barrage of sticky notes hung from the door in all different shapes and colours and calligraphy, one cursive and neat, the other boyishly elegant.

 _Hey edge lord, If you're gonna use Blue, she needs gas ;)_ _xL_

 _Put the gas yourself, you drama queen._ _xK_

_Mullet man, thanks for putting the gas in Blue the other day. Hope you have a good day. See you when you get home. xL_

_Thanks, McMeme. I love you. xK_

_Mi Vida, stop worrying about the job at the Garrison. You'll get it. I love you, and I believe in you so much so that I tried to make you Korean for lunch. Que Sera Sera. xL_

_My love, I can never thank you enough for the things that you do. You are the light of my life. xK_

_Really, Keith? Light of my life? You corny, little shit. Congrats on your new job, baby. xL_

_Oh, shut the fuck up, Lance. You love it when I'm corny, darling. Always yours, xK._

A door on the upper floor slammed loudly. The paladins jumped, Keith instinctively crumpling one of the notes in his fist. A raised voice was heard, over the rain, sounding like the AU Keith, "Lance! Stop! If you would just let me explain!"

"Explain what?!" Another voice, undoubtedly AU Lance shouted in return, equally as loudly, and there was loud stomping, as if he were storming out of a room, "Don't! Don't fucking touch me, Keith!" 

Shiro winced at the obscenity and the gang froze in anticipation. The footfalls got louder, and suddenly, the room was engulfed in light, allowing them to fully observe their setting.

The room was a combination of both Lance and Keith, firey and calming all at once. The walls were a soothing shade of cream with a navy blue accent wall, red curtains, and red,  blue and white furniture and fixtures. There was also a fluffy carpet on the floor in a light shade of cream, matching the walls and adding to the whole aesthetic of the modernized, open-concept living, dining and kitchen area, which was the bottom floor of the apartment. At the edge of the room was a simple, spiral, wrought-iron staircase with a light switch on the wall next to it that led to the upper floor, to where Shiro assumed the rest of the rooms were. 

Then, there they were. Lance at the bottom of the stairwell, a burning fire in his cold, blue eyes.

"Lance, would you just listen to me--!" AU Keith yelled, again.

"Shut up! Just shut the hell up, you  _goddamn_ liar!" AU Lance whirled on AU Keith, who didn't step back, and the real paladins could see the tears in AU Lance's eyes.

"I-I never wanted it to happen like this," AU Keith's voice shook, "But it happened, and there wasn't anything that could have been done."

"You're talking real _bullshit_ , Keith," AU Lance sneered, "Is that really how you're justifying cheating on me?!"

Real Hunk gave a sharp hiss.

 _So they were dealing with couple rows now_??

"I'm not--" AU Keith started.

"You are," AU Lance kept the sneer, despite the tears, "Tell me, Keith, how was kickboxing with Shiro today? I'll bet it was fucking great. Ha! How ironic, cause you know, that's what you two get up to. You fuck. Behind my back. And then you probably have a laugh about it too, haha _poor_ Lancey Lance, he's just waiting for the love of his life to get home, but hey! Here's the catch: Keith's actually having the time of his life with Shiro at _kickboxing!_ "

AU Keith flinched as if he'd been slapped.

Real Keith had flushed pale, Shiro closed his eyes and pinched his nose, as he muttered, "No, no, no, this is not happening. _This cannot be happening._ "

"Lance," AU Keith gasped, and tears began to fall from his eyes, down his pale cheeks, "You know I'd never purposefully hurt you like that."

"Really?" AU Lance sniffled, and the heartbreak in his voice was _so_ real, it hurt the paladins to hear, "Then let me ask you this. How many times has it happened, Keith?"

"Lance, please--" AU Keith said.

"That's not a number," AU Lance raised his voice, which cracked and broke unevenly, "Let's make it easier, huh? Was it Once? Twice? Three times? More than three times? Because it doesn't matter how many times it happened. It matters that you and Shiro were fully _aware_ of the decision you were making, you _let_ it happen! You didn't stop it! On top of all that, you had the nerve to do it again and again! So regardless of what your intention was, no matter how hard you try to justify yourself, you've purposefully hurt me!"

"And the thing is that you know the shit I go through with myself!" Lance ranted, "You know I have issues with my self-esteem and self-worth and you know I had a hard time dealing with them, and you went ahead and cheated anyway! Did you have any consideration for how _I_ would feel?? Of how this would _impact_ me??"

"Lance, c'mon, that's not fair," AU Keith bit back, "How do you think I had it, dealing with you for the past few years?"

AU Lance's eyes widened and he began crying. A soft sob made its way out of him when he stepped back, away from AU Keith.

AU Keith seemed to realize what he had said. Too late.

"No, I don't mean it like that," He muttered, quickly, "Lance, you know I didn't mean it."

AU Lance grabbed a set of keys from on top of the center table, "You know, I wondered when you'd get fed up of me and all my baggage and decide that I was too much to handle. But don't worry. Message received, loud and clear."

"Lance, it's raining cats and dogs outside. Put the keys back into the basket, and let's just talk about this, _please,_ " AU Keith's voice broke.

"I need to get out and think," AU Lance's heavier sniffles had stopped, reduced to only soft sniffing, and he gripped the key tighter in his hand, "I need to get out of this house, get away from _you_ and think. I can't--"

" _Please_ , Lance," AU Keith's voice was nothing more than a whisper as he pleaded with AU Lance.

AU Lance shook his head, "Look at me. Can you honestly look me in the eye and tell me you love me? You can't, can you."

AU Keith couldn't meet AU Lance's eyes. He kept his eyes shamefully on the ground.

"You really can't." AU Lance said quietly, after a heavy pause, before he turned and left the house in the pouring rain, slamming the front door shut behind him. 

A framed picture of AU Lance and Keith that hung on the wall, fell to the floor, and it broke with a delicate, tiny sound that was unpleasant, all the same.

AU Keith's back hit the wall and he slid down, burying face in his hands, propping them against his knee. He forced his body not to shake after he started sobbing, just as he forced himself not to shatter, like the picture frame.

****

Lance was shocked at what he was seeing. All the AU's were happy but this... This one threw him for a loop. Of course, when he found a significant other (he was not one to use any pronouns, of course), he'd love them, cherish them. He'd treasure them, and do everything in his power to spoil them.

_So then, what had he done in this universe to make Keith unhappy?_

"You good, bud?" Hunk asked, quietly, grabbing his hand.

"I dunno," Lance said, squeezing his best friend's hand for comfort, "This universe is just a bit upsetting."

"Yeah, it's like all your insecurities being used against you," Hunk agreed.

"I'm many things," Keith snapped, quietly, "But a cheater is not one of them. How dare."

Pidge just watched the boys with amusement, and Shiro was looking on frustratedly as if he didn't know what his purpose in this particular AU was.

****

Their scene had changed. They were now at another apartment. AU Keith pounded frantically on the door, dripping with water from head to toe. A young woman with dirty blonde hair answered, gently rubbing her almond-colored eyes with her fists.

"Keith?" she asked, "What are you doing here?"

"Pidge," his voice was broken and hoarse, and Shiro realized that the wet marks on his cheek were actually tear tracks, "Pidge, I fucked up."

She straightened up, more aware, "What's going on?"

It was at that time AU Shiro showed up at the apartment. AU Shiro who was handsome as hell, scar-free, and prosthetic arm intact. 

"Keith, what happened?" AU Shiro asked cautiously.

AU Keith slapped his hand over his mouth and fell into AU Shiro's chest, sobbing. 

"Hey, hey, hey," AU Shiro carded his arm (non-prosthetic) through AU Keith's mullet, forcing AU Keith to look at him, "I need you to calm down. I need you to breathe and tell me what exactly is going on."

AU Keith inhaled deeply and visibly attempted to calm himself before speaking in a shaky, wobbly voice.

"There's a special place in Hell reserved for cheaters like me," He muttered in so much misery that even Real Lance felt sorry for him.

Suddenly, he was doubled over, coughing, clutching his stomach as AU Pidge cracked her knuckles.

"What the _FUCK_ is wrong with you?" She yelled. 

"And you, I-I looked up to you. As an inspiration and role model. Why do this?" She turned to face AU Shiro, fierce fire, and disappointment in her hazel eyes. 

Her voice bounced off the silent walls, making it sound louder than it was.

A yawning figure in yellow joined them at the door.

"Pidge, what's going... _oh_." AU Hunk scratched his eyes, like AU Pidge did when she answered the door, and he looked more awake when he took in AU Shiro and Keith, "Oh no."

"It's Lance," AU Keith whimpered, when he caught himself, still reeling from AU Pidge's punch, "He drove off in Blue, he didn't take his phone, and I don't know where he's at."

He braced himself as if he expected AU Hunk to throw a punch too. AU Hunk didn't. Instead, he looked at AU Keith in sympathy.

"Come in," AU Hunk sighed, stepping aside to allow them into the apartment, "Pidge, let's try to get a track on Lance. Keith, you come with me. You and Shiro must be freezing."

AU Keith nodded gratefully. AU Pidge's glare at him intensified as she sat at her laptop, calling someone, most likely her brother Matt, on the phone.

****

The real Paladins' scene shifted once more, and they were now in the kitchen with AU Hunk and AU Keith.

Both men sat in awkward silence before AU Keith muttered, "I'm sorry."

AU Hunk made a low noise, like a hum, as he opened up cupboards and fished out items to mix a hot kettle of tea, "You're apologizing to the wrong person."

"You should hate me," AU Keith muttered, again, "You're Lance's best friend."

"But I'm also your friend. And Shiro's friend," AU Hunk said simply, "I'm doing this for you because you need a friend right now. And later, I'm going to do the same for Lance because he'll need a friend then." 

AU Keith didn't say anything further. He watched out the window with a pensive expression, as rain fell in long, light droplets.

"You know, Lance told me something was up," AU Hunk said, noncommittally, putting water to boil, "I didn't believe him because I thought he was over exaggerating the situation. I told him to calm down, and I told him that you guys were _Lance and Keith,_ and he shouldn't worry, because you guys were, you know, that couple. The one that's perfect. The one that never argues. The couple goals on tumblr. The one that talks everything out and things turn out fine. The one that grows old together with their great-grandkids."

"No couple's perfect, Hunk," AU Keith said, toying with the ends of the warm sweatshirt AU Hunk lent him.

"I used to believe that they were. At least, that's how it was on TV. Then my parents proved how wrong TV was. Hell, Pidge and I have our ups and downs sometimes," AU Hunk agreed, throwing away the used teabags, "But I always thought that it would've been you and Lance, you know? He deserves some happiness in his life. And a few weeks after we talked, Lance came to visit. I'd never seen him cry as much as he did when he told me that he faked it for you, and you didn't even notice. Then I saw you talking to Shiro at our party a few days later, and I knew."

AU Hunk stirred in cream and sugar in the teacups and handed one over to AU Keith, who was looking at the ground in shame. He put the other cups onto a silver tray, and they left the kitchen. 

AU Pidge and AU Shiro were in the rec room, which was adjacent to the living room area, which looked like it was a home to AU Pidge and AU Hunk's tech stuff.

There was knocking on the door, and AU Shiro answered it. AU Allura entered, not blinking an eye as she smacked AU Shiro across the face, walking past him. His eyes, however, bugged out, almost as if he were in a comic, and he brought a hand to caress the bright red hand print on his cheek. 

"That's for my best friend," She hissed.

All the Paladins winced, and Allura looked apologetically at Shiro.

A Pidge lookalike entered the apartment after her. Lance assumed that this is Pidge's older brother, Matt. There was no slapping, but AU Matt leveled a glare onto AU Shiro and AU Keith that was so sharp and nasty that it outdid Keith's.

****

"Matt," Pidge's tiny voice gasped, "He's okay. Oh my God, he's okay."

"Pidge, this is an Alternate universe.. "

"He's alive, I know it. If he's alive in this universe, he has to be alive on ours," Pidge snapped at Hunk.

"Pidge, I think we should.."

"No, I'm fine. I promise, I'm fine," She said, cutting Shiro off before he could suggest going back.

Pidge didn't want to miss this.

****

"Okay, how about we try to access Blue's GPS system," AU Matt suggested.

"He'd either be by the beach, or in Little Havana," AU Keith suggested, "Finding out which one is the problem, though."

"I agree with Keith," AU Pidge said, "We all know he' d be at one of these two places.  Getting into Blue's GPS is our best option."

"Is that even legal?" AU Shiro asked.

"Legal and illegal is a really thin line in my book, especially when it comes to my friends," AU Pidge snapped, "It's either you wanna find Lance or not. I wouldn't, if I were in your shoes."

"Pidge, you're putting words in my mouth," AU Shiro said, "You're being unfair."

"Oh,  _I'm_ being unfair?" AU Pidge said incredulously, "You're one to talk about fair. Was it fair to Lance when you stole his boyfriend from right under his nose?"

Hunk and Lance hissed in unison.

"Low blow," Shiro muttered.

"Katie," AU Hunk said, resting his hand on her shoulder.

"I'm sorry to go there," AU Shiro half-snapped, "But was it fair to Lance when _you_ broke up with him when Matt went missing? Was it fair to him when almost a month after Matt was found you told him that you had feelings for Hunk?"

"What?" AU Matt's head flew up.

AU Pidge slammed her hands down on her desk, snarling, "Lance and I were better off as friends. We both knew that. Everybody knew that. He was never as happy with me as he was with Keith."

"Uhm, okay wow," Keith said, eyebrows twisting, "Hunk is dating Pidge, who dated Lance, who dated me, and I'm now dating Shiro, and Allura and Matt are a thing?"

"That's some circle of friendship," Lance muttered.

"Agreed," Hunk nodded, quickly.

 _"ENOUGH!"_ AU Keith shouted, causing everybody to quiet down, even jump slightly, "L-Let's just find Lance and bring him home. Please."

"I got him!" AU Matt exclaimed, "He's in South Beach."

"Let's go bring our boy home, then," said AU Hunk, getting up.

He retrieved towels and a thick blanket from his (and Pidge's) bathroom. Then, he got the keys to his old Nissan.

When the AU paladins entered the car, the real paladins' scene changed.

"We're at South Beach, Florida," Lance gasped, "This is like, my favourite place back on Earth." 

They spotted a familiar silhouette sitting on one of the benches in the rain after AU Hunk had parked the car.

AU Keith tried to sprint out of the car, but was held back by AU Matt.

"I'm sure that the last person on God's green Earth that Lance wants to see right now," AU Matt said calmly, "Is you."

"That's right," AU Allura agreed.

"We should send in a lawful neutral," AU Hunk mentioned.

"I agree. Pidge," AU Matt suggested.

"No!" AU Pidge protested, "It should be Hunk."

"No," AU Hunk said, "If I go, it'll be like, the biggest _I-Told-You-So_ slapinthe face, because I was the one that convinced him that the whole Shiro and Keith thing was all in his head, and he was insisting on it."

"I don't want to do this," AU Allura said sadly, "I helped him get his relationship with Keith on track to where it is today, and I don't want him feeling horrible when he sees me. I love him too much to put him through that."

"Other than me and Allura," AU Hunk whispered, "You're the only other person who knows Lance the best, Katie. And you know how sensitive he is when it comes to his emotions."

"Okay," AU Pidge took a deep breath, when AU Hunk handed over a blanket, "Okay. This is for Lance."

She ran into the pouring rain, with her glasses still on, the blanket barely sheltering her.

AU Pidge put her hand on AU Lance's shoulder as she sat next to him. The rain continued to beat down on both of them, and AU Pidge wrapped the blanket around him. The two exchanged some words before AU Lance's head fell into the crook of her neck as his body shook. AU Pidge hesitated before rubbing soothing circles into his back.

AU Lance and AU Pidge headed back over to the group when he'd visibly calmed down.

"Lance, you need somewhere to stay," AU Hunk said.

"I can rent a cheap motel room or something," AU Lance's voice was hoarse and broken.

"You'll stay at my place," AU Allura said, "I need a roommate anyway."

AU Pidge groaned, "Great. The rise of the shitlords."

A small smile twitched on AU Lance's lips.

"There we go," AU Pidge smiled.

"Lance," AU Shiro came forward, "I'm so sorry. We're so sorry. Keith and I should have handled the situation better."

AU Lance's eyes fell to the ground.

"C'mon Lance," AU Hunk patted AU Lance's shoulder, "It's not safe for you to just breathe deep and bottle it up."

"Fine. Shiro, you can apologize to me for your actions," AU Lance snapped, "But you can't apologize for Keith. And I can't be mad at you for loving him. The sad thing is that I'm mostly mad at myself for not realizing that this was going on..."

"Hey, buddy," AU Hunk said, "Let's go back to my place and get you warm before you get a cold."

"But, Blue," AU Lance hesitated.

"I'll take her," AU Allura said, "I'll bring Blue back to Hunk's and then we can take her over to mine."

AU Lance handed over a pair of keys and AU Allura headed over to where a blue muscle car was parked on a stretch.

AU Allura reversed it out of the space, and when it passed under a street light, the real paladins saw that it was a Chevy Camaro. A blue convertible, '69 model.

Hunk gave a low whistle.

"Holy crap, Lance," Hunk said, "That's your dream car."

"I know!" Lance squeaked, looking at the car in pure joy.

"Lance, wait," AU Keith said, grabbing him by the hand.

"I'll be out of the flat by the end of the week," AU Lance told him.

"I tried. I loved you so much, and then it was as if we just lost our spark. Living with you wasn't the same. Kissing you wasn't the same. Making love wasn't the same. And Shiro tried to talk to me, and it just.. I just fucked up from there," AU Keith struggled for words, his grip on AU Lance visibly tightening, "I'm sorry."

Excuse me if I don't believe you," AU Lance sniffed, "Because you also said that, and I quote, It's me and you against the fucking world, baby. Remember that? And now... And now you've wrecked us, and you have Shiro, Shiro has you, and I have nothing. I'm the one who has to put myself back together."

"Don't say that," Au Keith whimpered, "I told you, I--"

"I hope that you get everything you deserve, Keith," AU Lance said, pulling away from AU Keith.

AU Hunk wrapped his arms around his best friend.

The scene around the paladins vanished as they began to cross into another reality.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> So season 6, huh? Y'all are free to yell at me in the comments! Just mention 'spoilers' before you start so that those who haven't seen it yet can have some warning. Thanks for reading, I may make a part II for this <3


End file.
